Quest For Bacon - Part 1

One of the main reasons why I chose Japan as a place to come and teach English: the food.

Unfortunately, no matter how much you love niku jaga, sushi, tempura, or okonomiyaki, there are some things that Japanese food just can't do. And one of those, sadly, is bacon.

American hot dogs, which I cannot seem to find in a regular grocery store, are, strangely, common at shrines, festivals, and convenience stores. Hamburgers you can make yourself, with absurdly expensive ground meat. But bacon? Not so easy.

For one thing, no one ever told the Japanese that bacon is supposed to be cured and smoked. ("Bacon is smoked?" one of my co-workers asked. "It usually is." "Really? No. Not in Japan." "That's because you don't have bacon in Japan." "Yes we do! That is bacon. On your salad." "This is ham." "We call it bacon." "That doesn't mean it is bacon.") No one told them it's supposed to be fatty and salty, either.

I picked up a tray of meat at the store once - it looked, at least, like it was the right cut of meat, although the slices weren't as thick - and found that, while it was fatty, it was not salty, cured, or smoked. When it cooked it turned brown, not red, and it didn't taste like much at all.

And so. A Quest For Bacon began.

Today's bacon does not look very much like bacon, but it does say bacon on the label. (I can hear my coworker now: "See? It says bacon, right there." "Putting something in a package and writing 'be-kon' on it doesn't make it bacon.")

See? It even says bacon on the label!

It doesn't look much like bacon, but hey. It does say so on the label. I'll give it a try.

I open the package: smells like ham. Sigh. Well, what does it look like when you cook it?

I actually had to oil the pan.

Well, not bacon. No real fat - the pieces didn't even shrink.

Several minutes and many alarming popping sounds later: not much better.

Verdict: Ham.

Tasted alright, though. Grabbed a raw piece to check - yep, ham. Add scrambled or fried eggs and you have a tasty meal, but it ain't bacon.